Cat of the Military
by Mird
Summary: DISCONTINUED
1. Chapter 1

**NOTE: This fic was only updated to appease to forty-something (I counted 46, but I'm probably a bit off) reviewers who desperately want it to be continued.  
I have no intention of ACTUALLY finishing this fic, or even rewriting it. All bad grammar, plot holes, stupid A/N's, and any other form of terribleness WILL NOT BE FIXED. Reader discretion is advised.**

Cat of the Military

It was dark. I didn't understand; it hadn't been dark before. Lonely, yes, but not dark.

Was I still alive? If so, why? The stone had been used, I was sure of that. The last thing I remember in the material world was stepping into that circle...

So I became a new philosopher's stone. My soul, along those of the remaining homunculi, had been compressed into that blood-red substance. It was extremely crowded in there, but I don't remember much of THAT.

But now I wasn't there any more. So obviously, the stone's power had been used up. But where _was_ I?

I finally realized why it was so dark; my eyes were closed. I opened one eye nervously and found that I was lying down. I opened my other eye and stretched. Was it just me, or were my limbs a lot shorter than I remembered them?

I looked around and took it all in. I was in a store, surrounded by furry creatures. Cats.

I tried to stand, but couldn't. I felt...Rearranged. Like I wasn't in a body that was exactly human anymore.

I looked down at my hands- correction, paws.

It took a few moments for it to sink in. But it was true; I was a cat. A tiny, golden, cat.

I growled indignantly, but it sounded more like a meow. An indignant meow. Those two things don't really go together, but that's the way it is.

I didn't want to be a cat. But I tried to look on the bright side, like Al always did. I was alive; that was some strange and unusual twist of fate. Pure luck. And I had all four limbs; that hadn't happened for a while. It was kind of nice, except for the fact that I still had a limp in my back leg. Great. I finally get my limbs back, but I'm still a cripple. And now I'm a crippled CAT, of all things.

I was sitting in the corner brooding when the bell sounded. I looked up and saw none other than Colonel Mustang himself walk over to where the cats were kept and begin examining me and my little roommates.

Although I was happy to see that he wasn't much older than he had been before, (meaning I hadn't been reborn 100 years after I died, or any similar fate) I got a sudden feeling of loneliness. What if no one remembered me? What if they had forgotten about me? I looked up at Roy, hoping he would show some sign of recognition. Maybe if he bought me, I could see Al again. Maybe.

He tilted his head slightly as he looked at me, his brow wrinkled as if he was deep in thought.

_Does he recognize me?_ I thought excitedly. _I'll help the memories resurface..._

"Meow!" I called. Hopefully he'd realize that there was a deeper meaning behind it. "Colonel bastard" didn't work with a cat's vocal chords. He blinked, a sad look in his eyes. I blinked back and smiled. (As much of a smile as I could manage using the mouth of a cat, anyways.)

Roy sighed and turned away, walking towards the counter. I glared indignantly at him. He began talking to the man that owned the store.

"...Yeah, I'd like to buy that cat. The gold one," Mustang said. My heart stopped; did he mean me?

"The one with the limp?" the shopkeeper asked. Mustang nodded. My eyes widened. Yes! Would I see Al again? Hopefully...

I felt the shopkeeper's hands wrap around me as he picked me up and handed me to Mustang. He walked out of the shop into a freezing snow storm. A shivered and closed my eyes against the wind. Mustang held me closer. I appreciated the extra warmth, although it felt a bit awkward.

The walk to his house was about half an hour long, although it felt like years. He closed the front door behind us as we entered and hung up his coat, placing me on the couch. He kneeled on the floor so we were at eye-to-eye level and stared at me.

He sighed. "You remind me so much of this kid I used to know." I nodded. "His name was Edward. He had gold eyes, which is unusual for a human. I don't know how it is for cats, but for humans there are only a few natural eye colors."

I nodded again, just to show that I was listening. I meowed.

"Another way you remind me of Edward is...Well, your size." _Huh?_ I thought. _What does he mean by that?_ "He wasn't exactly the tallest guy around, to say it one way."

I hissed at him. How dare he such things!

Roy blinked. "You react the same way as he did." He sighed. "You remind me so much of him, it hurts."

I tilted my head. _He cares? He ACTUALLY cares?_

Roy sighed again before continuing. "Anyways, I should probably find a place for you to sleep for tonight. Ignore the mess, if you can. You'll only have to deal with it for a few hours. I'm taking you to your real home tomorrow."

Real home? It had been a while since I had a real home. I wonder what it's like.

"Remember that kid I told you about earlier? Edward. See, he had a brother. His name was Al, and Ed would do pretty much anything for him...So you can imagine how Al felt when he died."

I tensed. Was Al okay?

"I think he'll like you. His fifteenth birthday is tomorrow."

My eyes widened. _What perfect timing!_ I thought enthusiastically. _I came back to life right before his birthday!_ I grinned.

Roy raised an eyebrow. "You sure show a lot of expression for a cat..." he said with a smirk.

_"You have no idea..."_ I thought.

"Meow," I said.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

**Al's POV**

I had been empty for four years, but I barely minded. Sure, I was lonely at night, but at least I still Ed, and I knew he cared about me. He cared enought to give his arm so that I could live.

When he was turned into the stone, I was so determined that there was a way to get him out. I studied all night like he used to, but I wasn't researching how to make the stone. I was researching how to take it apart.

I spent months just trying to figure out, before realizing it was impossible. Even knowing that, I was reluctant using a stone with my own brother's soul in it to get back to normal. I knew it would be what he wanted.

I'm not empty anymore. Not literally, anyways. But there's still an empty space inside of me where Ed used to be.

That is, until my fifteenth birthday. Colonel Mustang came, along with the others that Ed used to work with. In the Colonel's arms was a tiny lump wrapped in a blanket.

"What's that?" I asked curiously.

Roy smiled. "Happy birthday!" He handed me the bundle. I blinked and lifted up the edge of the blanket. My face broke into a huge grin.

"A cat!" I exclaimed. "Thank you so much!" The cat looked just as happy as me. It rubbed it's cheek against my arm affectionately and meowed.

"Be careful with him," Roy warned. "He's got a limp in his back leg." I nodded, still grinning.

The cat meowed happily. I smiled.

**Ed's POV**

Al has his body back!

And it's his birthday!

He's eating pie that Winry made!

And he's SMILING!

It's funny how being a cat has made me much more enthusiastic about everything. Or maybe it's not because I'm a cat. I think that I would be happy no matter what.

I curled up next to Al's foot and closed my eyes. _"I love you, little brother..."_

I fell asleep to the sound of his loud, happy voice.

* * *

Al and I were sitting on his bed that night. He was staying with Winry, in the same room we always stayed in when we came to visit. Al rubbed my head. It felt good.

"I used to have a brother," he said quietly. I nodded to show I was paying attention.

He looked at his feet, took a deep breath and continued to speak.

"His name was Ed. He loved me and I loved him." I nodded again, agreeing with his statement. "He's dead now." Al sighed and his face changed from happy remembrance to pure sadness.

I shook my head. _"I'm right here, Al." _Of course, he couldn't hear me. How frustrating.

"He got turned into a philosopher's stone," he continued. "His soul was still in there, so I didn't really feel like he was dead at first. But then I learned that his soul couldn't be removed from the stone and..." Al trailed off.

I didn't know what to do. I couldn't comfort him by talking to him. I couldn't hug him, either. I wasn't big enough. I meowed softly, just so that he knew I was still listening.

Al started talking again. "So eventually, I used the stone. I know he WANTED me to get my body back, but it...Didn't feel right. Using his soul. I just..." He wiped his eyes, stopping the tears before they could fall.

"I just wish I could talk to him again," he concluded.

_"You are,"_ I said, but he couldn't hear.


	3. Chapter 3

Chapter 3

I blinked; I was in my human body again! I grinned and looked around for Al. I knew that it was just a dream, but I still wanted to see him and talk to him, even if it wasn't real.

Instead of my brother, I came face to face with a smiling porcelain doll with a long, thin crack splitting her dusty white face in two.

"Hello, Edward Elric," she said. I shivered; it was still eerie to see someone speak without moving their mouth, even after Al had been like that for four years.

"I am Fate," she continued, her voice echoing in the huge space that was neither black nor white. "You have me to thank for being with your brother again." She reached her arm up and pulled on a thin string hanging from somewhere above.

My mouth opened involuntarily and words came out in a rusty voice that wasn't my own. "Thank you, master."

"Very good, my puppet," she said, smiling again. "Now, come closer." She pulled another string and I walked forward, unable to control my actions. I was confined within my own head.

"Do you want to be human again?" She asked in a sickly sweet voice, pulling a third string. My head bobbed up and down, in a weak imitation of a nod. "Yes, I thought so. But first, you must prove that you are wanted."

_'Wanted'?_ I thought. _What's THAT supposed to mean?_

"I'm glad you asked!" she said, giggling. "What use are you in the world, if no one wants you? None at all, that's right. You just take up space. To become human again, you need to get the message across to everyone who was important to you during your life that you are Edward Elric."

"How?" I asked as she pulled another string.

"Another great question, puppet. But I'm afraid I can't answer that. You'll just have to be creative, no?" She laughed another tinkling laugh and turned around, ripping the strings down and carrying them with her as she walked away.

I fell to the ground, my skin shattering like glass and leaving nothing but a soul with nowhere to go.


	4. Chapter 4

Chapter 4

I woke up the next morning curled up in a ball next to Al's bed. I blinked blearily and stretched, still trying to get used to being in the body of a cat.

I meowed good morning to Al, who shifted slightly at the sound. He opened one eye, then the other and yawned.

_Wow,_ I thought. _I had no idea that Al was such a light sleeper..._

"Mornin'..." he said sleepily, stepping out of bed. He leaned over and picked me up, holding me gently in his arms and carried me towards the kitchen. I meowed gratefully; it was damn near impossible to walk anywhere with this limp.

He placed me on the tiled kitchen floor as he washed his hands and started making pancakes.

I sat obediently on the floor and waited, not wanting to interrupt him until he was ready. Although, waiting for people isn't exactly my strong point. My tail twitched in agitation and impatience. Al glanced down at me and smiled.

"You don't like sitting still, do you?" he asked. I shook my head, although he didn't notice. He poured some milk into a saucer and put it on the floor for me.

I hissed, backing away. _"How dare you! You know I hate milk! TRAITOR!"_

He raised an eyebrow. "You're so similar to Ed, it's creepy."

I nodded and he sighed. "I don't think cats are supposed to eat pancakes, but..." He hesitated before putting a pancake on a plate for me. He smiled warmly, patted me on the head and stood up to make more.

I nibbled at the edge of the pancake; it was DELICIOUS! I ate it all, happy to be full.

Al looked down at me and laughed. "You eat so FAST!" he exclaimed. I nodded, but he didn't notice.

Al entertained me with small talk while he made the pancakes. For once I was HAPPY that he was insane enough to talk to cats; I don't like being ignored.

Winry wandered into the kitchen, rubbing her eyes sleepily. "Mornin', Al..." she muttered.

"Good morning, Winry," Al replied cheerfully. "Have any dreams last night?"

"Your kind obsessed with dreams, you know," she said, pouring herself a glass of orange juice.

"Dreams are nice," Al replied simply.

_Dreams! Ah, I remember..._ I thought hard, calling up the memory of last night's dream.

Fate. Strings. Puppet. How? I shivered. _Well, I might as well get started now..._

_"Hey. I'm Ed. You guys care about me, right?"_

"Meow."

Al and Winry kept talking. I sighed. Being a cat sucked.

I allowed my mind to wander, seeing as Al and Winry weren't saying anything interesting.

_So,_ I thought. _I'm a cat now._

...

_Damn, my thoughts are boring..._ I yawned, revealing small fangs. _Huh. Fangs? Maybe I'm a vampire cat...It's possible right? Well, blood doesn't sound very good, actually. I'd prefer some more of those pancakes..._

I blinked. _Ah, shit. I'm talking to myself. I must be going insane._ Well, if I was insane, then being insane wasn't half bad. As it turns out, I'm a pretty interesting person to have a conversation with.

_Since I'm a cat, do I have nine lives?_

_I'd assume so. That's what everyone says._

_But what does that MEAN? That I can get killed nine times and never die? Or do I DIE, but come back to life as a different cat?_

_Well, why don't you just die and find out!_

I shook my head. _No thanks. I've already died once, and I'd prefer not to go through that again._

Like I said, being insane isn't half bad.

Al reached down and scratched my head unexpectedly. Even though my conversation with myself was interesting, it was nice to be noticed.

"We're going to the park today. Do you want to come?"

It was nice, being talked to like I was still human, even though no one ever listened to my answers. I meowed, which Al took as a yes.

"Al, I'll clean up the dishes, okay?" Winry said. Al nodded.

He turned back towards me. "We're leaving in a few minutes, so make sure you're ready."

Winry snorted. "Al, you sound a bit insane talking to cats like that."

Well. Thank you very much, Winry. I am not at all offended.

"Ah, come on! He's special. I can tell," Al replied stubbornly. "I feel like he's more than just a cat." I felt a thrill go through me. How soon until I was human again, now?

"Fine, fine. Just don't get too attached to him. The only people you've ever gotten this close to have died."

I blinked in surprise; she was talking about...

Al's shoulders slumped slightly, his eyes cast downwards. He shook his head, breaking out of his daze. "Never mind. I'm going to go get dressed, then we're going to the park, okay? Today is NOT a day to think about that."

_What? Is he trying to forget about me...?_

"Okay..." said Winry, not entirely convinced, for whatever reason. Al left the room, swinging the door closed behind him.

Winry looked down at me curiously. "Now that I think about it...You do seem sort of intelligent, for a cat."

I stared evenly at her. _"For a cat?" That's all the credit you give me? Winry, I'm a genius. A fucking CHILD PRODIGY. I'm not just "sort of intelligent" and for it to be even be suggested is a personal insult._

She looked away from me, not caring to talk to me anymore. She looked up, and sighed.

"Ed...Wherever you are...Look, just listen okay? I have something to say to you."

I listened.

"Alphonse wasn't trying to forget about you because he doesn't care. He-"

"Winry, we're going now!" Al called. _Damn,_ I thought. _What she was going to say?_

"Coming!" Winry called back. She picked me up without a word and walked towards the front door.


	5. Chapter 5

Chapter 5

I stared out in awe at my surroundings; everything had changed so much while I was gone...

The fields where we had once played as children was now filled with swing sets, benches, slides...I'm not saying I didn't LIKE it, but it made me wish I could be a kid again and have the chance to play on it without looking like an idiot.

Al and Winry each sat on a swing in a routine fashion, as if they had done this same thing many times before. I felt left out, sitting all alone on the grass next to them, watching them talk and laugh. I wasn't used to this; this third wheel feeling. I was usually so...In charge. I took care of Al, not vice versa.

I rested my head in my paws, trying to ignore Al and Winry's happy conversation.

_"Hey."_ I tensed, my ears flattening out and my back arching. _"Sheesh, calm down. I'm not gonna hurt you. I just wanna talk. I'm bored. You?"_

I turned around nervously and saw a thin gray and black striped cat sitting next to me, looking as if he was expecting something.

_"...What?"_ I asked.

The cat sighed. _"Here, how about I introduce myself? I'm Orpheus. And you are?"_

_"...Ed,"_ I said. _"Um...Nice to meet you?"_

Orpheus snorted. _"Why phrase it as a question? I'm a nice guy. Got a few quirks, but then again, doesn't everyone? Humans don't see to like me that much. Guess they think I have rabies, hmm? 'Course, I don't think cats can get rabies...Well, I dunno. Can they?"_

_"Um...I don't know. I'm not really a cat."_

_"Ah, so I was right. I usually am, when it comes to first impressions. So, if you're not a cat, what are you?"_

_"I'm a person,"_ I explained. _"I died and got reincarnated as a cat, and for some reason, I got to keep all my memories. There's this thing called Fate and she said that I can become a human again if I can get everyone I cared about to say that they care about ME. Problem is, none of them speak cat."_

I don't know why I was confessing everything to Orpheus. I guess I felt like I could trust him. Or maybe I was just tired of talking to no one but myself. It does get a bit old after a while.

_"Hm, hmm?"_ Orpheus said thoughtfully. _"Well. Why don't you just write them a note, then, Ed?"_

I blinked. Stupid! Why hadn't I thought of that EARLIER?!

_"Oh..."_ I said, feeling like an idiot. _"Well, I might as well get started now, right?" _Orpheus nodded, supporting me.

I reached tentatively towards the dirt in front of me, appalled at how small my paws were. I was basically just a little kitten! If I DID become human again, Mustang would never let me live it down.

I scratched one long, thin gash in the dirt.

_"What's that?"_ Asked Orpheus. _"Sorry, I don't know much about English. Most cats don't, hmm?"_

_"That's an 'I'"_ I told him. _"It's a letter. A bunch of letters together makes a word, and a bunch of words make a sentence..."_

I scratched in another letter next to the I; a giant 'A'. Next an 'M', which was a bit uneven, although I didn't quite think that it mattered.

I had just started with the letter 'E' when I heard a voice that didn't belong to Orpheus.

"Come on, we're leaving now," Al said, gently picking me up into his arms and stepping all over my completed letters without even seeing them. I meowed indignantly, but he didn't understand me. This was getting old.

_"Good bye!"_ Orpheus called as Al and Winry carried me away, talking and laughing. _"Good bye and best luck to you, Ed of humans and cats!"_

* * *

**Huh...I still like this story, of course, but reading through it again...I think I could have written it better.**


	6. Chapter 6

**A genius idea, but, once again, I think I could have done a better job writing it.**

Chapter 6

I was getting frustrated; it seemed writing was harder than I thought. It was some sort of pure luck that it had been easy at the park, but then again, I had had my hopes dashed anyways, seeing as Al had stepped all over my note.

_Stupid Al..._ I grumbled silently, dipping my paw into the ink pot again. I had managed to make a few pathetic imitations of letters, but nothing more than that.

I hissed angrily at the paper in front of me. _"I HATE YOU, PAPER!!!"_

Oh great. Talking to inanimate objects. One step above talking to yourself on the insanity scale.

The door creaked open, shedding more light on my project. I heard a gasp; it was Winry.

"Oh no! Don't play with that!" She pulled the ink away.

Well. Thank you, Winry. I gave her the evil eye.

"Look, I don't know what you're doing with this, but if you swallow it, it's bad for you," she lectured

I nodded, not really taking in what she was saying.

"I know you're a cat and probably can't understand a word I'm saying, but I...I..." Her eyes softened. "I can't keep this up anymore! You're so CUUUUTE!!!!~"

_"WHAT THE HELL?!"_

She scooped me up into her arms, her eyes closed. She was smiling and making some kind of squealing noise that only girls made. She held me close, very very close, almost too close. I was pressed up to her chest in a way that made me feel like a pervert.

She stroked my back gently with one finger, sending a wave of confused relaxation through me. It felt good, but it put a whole new spin on being a cat; it was bad enough that no one knew who I really was without Winry treating me different.

Well.

Actually.

I liked it. A lot. I suppose I just wished she would have showed this much affection towards me when I was alive. In a different WAY, of course, but...

My thoughts were cut short as she picked me up and held me close again, even closer than last time. I was sure I was blushing, but I doubted that anyone could tell.

Winry relaxed a bit and she sat down on the bed with a gentle _thwump_, bouncing me in her arms in the process.

_Shit, this is weird..._

She sighed, letting her head fall forward. "I'm sorry if it seemed like I didn't like you..." she muttered, "...I just...Well, I agree with Al."

_"About what?"_

"He says that you remind him of Ed, and I agree. If Ed were a cat he's be you. But...I just don't want to get close to you. I mean, you're just a cat. There's no possible way that you could really be Ed...And...Damn, I've been awake for two days straight just fixing automail..."

She yawned. Her eyelids drooped and she pulled her feet up onto the bed with her, resting her head on the pillow. Soon enough, she was asleep, using me as some sort of living teddy bear. I tried to get up, but she was holding me too tight. Eventually, I gave up and relaxed in her arms and fell asleep too.


	7. Chapter 7

Chapter 7

"Colonel Mustang and the others are coming over for dinner tonight," said Winry, washing her hands in the kitchen sink. "Al, you have to help make dinner. They eat a lot."

"Okay," Al replied happily, always in a good mood and ready to help. I can truthfully say that I never have, and never WILL be as patient as him. He placed me on the floor where I curled up against the cold; it had been snowing a lot lately and the door was a bit drafty.

I felt just the smallest bit left out as I heard Al and Winry's voices coming from the kitchen as they discussed what to make. I'm not the kind of person who cooks, but still. It felt weird doing NOTHING.

The pool of sunlight on the floor in front of me turned to shadow as the afternoon went by. I must have fallen asleep at one point, only to wake up to delicious smells coming from the kitchen, as well as loud knocking from the door.

"I'll get it!" Al shouted. This time, he was just trying to get out of cleaning up.

I turned my head sleepily to watch as Al opened the door to greet our guests.

"Hey, Alphonse!" Havoc greeted cheerily, patting Al on the head. He walked inside, followed by Fuery, Breda, Falman, Hawkeye and the bastard himself, Colonel Mustang.

"Dinner's almost ready!" Winry called from the kitchen, yelling over the sound of Den barking. "I'll be out in a few minutes!"

They sat down at the already set table, silverware clinking and chairs scraping against the floor. I stood up and tiredly limped towards them, settling down again at Al's feet.

Havoc looked down at me and I met his eyes, willing him to say something. This could actually be a good opportunity to let everyone know who I was; that I'd come back to life.

"Where'd this cat come from?" he asked in a confused tone of voice. "I don't remember him from the last time we were here..."

"The Colonel got him for me. For my birthday," Al told him happily. "I still haven't named him, though. I don't think I would be able to come up with a good one."

Havoc nodded. "True. He seems a bit...Well, different, doesn't he?"

Huh. I'd heard a lot of people say that, but unfortunately, no one had linked that with the fact that I was Ed yet. Oh well.

Dinner proceeded in an ordinary fashion, with eating and talking and laughter. Again, I felt left out.

After a little over an hour, the plates were cleared away and everyone moved to the living room for coffee and yet more conversation before it was too late to do anything more.

I sat expectantly in front of the couch, hoping I wouldn't continue to be ignored as I had for the past few days. And for once, I got what I wanted, if in a different way than I expected.

Havoc picked me up with both hands, staring thoughtfully at me. "You're a bit small for a cat, aren't you?" he said, although it wasn't a question.

I hissed; my paw shot out and scratched him on the arm, causing him to yell and nearly drop me. I glared at him. _"How DARE you call me small!"_

Havoc placed me gently on the coffee table, holding up his hands in surrender. He turned his head to face Al before speaking. "Just name him Ed; he's enough like him."

Al's smile disappeared and his face darkened. "Don't joke about that," he said firmly. Havoc fell silent, looking apologetic.

Not long after that, the talking resumed, although the conversation seemed much more awkward and strained since Havoc's outburst. Eventually, the near silence was too much for everyone.

"Well," said Mustang, standing up. "I say it's time to go to bed. Which rooms are free, Winry?"

Only a few scatterings of forced conversation remained as everyone gradually made their way into their assigned rooms. Before long, it was only Al and I left. With a sigh, he scooped me up into his arms and carried me to his room.

"I don't want tomorrow to come," he muttered in my ear. His voice sent a shiver down my spine; not once had I ever heard him talk in a voice like that. Not after the failed transmutation, not after the several frustrating failures at returning his body. He had always had at least some hint of hope in his voice during those times, and yet now he sounded purely miserable.

* * *

I woke up the next day to see an unwelcome sight looming outside the window; rain. I had never much liked rain when I was alive, although I suppose it would be better now that I don't have automail.

I yawned and stretched as much as I could, which wasn't much, before turning my attention to Al.

_...That's weird._ I thought. _He's usually up by now..._ I tugged gently on the quilt for a few moments before realizing that he wasn't there. My eyes widened as panic set in; perhaps it was simply because I wasn't fully awake yet, but the most horrible possibilities were running through my mind. My head spinning, I limped towards the door, noting with a hint of fear that it hadn't been open when I went to sleep the night before.

Imagine my relief when I stepped into the living room to see Al standing, safe and sound, at the door surrounded by all the occupants of the house. With a shaky sigh, I walked obediently over and sat by his feet. He was NOT going anywhere without me.

Al looked down at me and blinked, before looking back up to address Colonel Mustang. "Should we bring him with?" he asked, his voice still filled with the same hopeless misery as last night. The Colonel paused before replying.

"Sure. Why not?"

Without another word, Al leaned over and picked me up before stepping outside into the freezing rain with the others. Instinctively, I attempted to get closer to him for warmth. Why it was raining during the winter was beyond me.

Al held me closer, which offered the disadvantage of not seeing where we going along with the warmth. Before I knew it we had stopped moving. Curious, I poked my head up just enough to see where we were.

A graveyard.

At first I thought we were at Mom's grave, before I noticed the one next to it. That's when it hit me; one year ago, on this day, I died.

* * *

**I just realized that Mustang would only have just left a few days ago...Only to come right back. I guess I didn't notice this because of the amount of time between updates...What was only a few days in the story was weeks and weeks in real life.**


	8. Chapter 8

Chapter 8

Because of the rain, it took me a while to realize that the wetness I felt on my head was Al's tears. I looked up at him, tensing when I saw the look of pure sadness on it. He hugged me, holding me even closer than before. He had always taken comfort in cats, or so I supposed since he was always petting a kitten when he sad. If just being a cat could make him feel better, even the smallest bit, then I guess I'm fine with what I am for now.

"Big brother..." he said quietly, staring directly at the grave. The others stood around us, heads bent forward in respect. He let out a deep, rattling breath. "You're with mom now, aren't you? So I guess you're happy...And I shouldn't be sad. You deserve to be happy, but you never were when you were alive." He sniffed loudly. "But I miss you." He wiped away the tears from his eyes and held me even closer.

_"I'm right here, Al," _I thought, wishing that I could comfort him. _"Don't be sad...I'll be human again soon, I promise, and then we can talk to each other...And I won't be quite so small, hopefully."_

Of course, he couldn't hear, but it felt good to tell him these things.

Next, Roy stepped up. It surprised me, but I saw a look of true sadness on his face. Not laid back, lazy happiness. Not sarcastic indifference. Sadness.

And it made me wonder, for but a brief second, why I was only cared about after I was gone.

I shook my head, ridding it of those thoughts. _Stupid! Al always cared about me, I can't be so ungrateful, especially now that I can't do anything for him!_

I was dragged away from my thoughts as the sound of Roy's hesitant voice pierced through the noisy splattering of raindrops.

"Fullmetal, if you're out there somewhere, somehow able to hear what I'm saying, I'm sorry. I sent you on that mission and I shouldn't have, I should have changed the orders for a less dangerous one, I ALWAYS should have, but I never did. You were almost killed thousands of times before that and I shouldn't have been so stupid as to think that it always remain an 'almost'. You deserved better, even though I would never admit it, and I know you wouldn't really give a damn. But I'm sorry."

I shivered slightly as my previous thoughts came back. This time it was even harder to chase them away.

The sentiment was getting to me, too. Although I suppose I would've acted the same way if I was living and one of them was dead.

The rest of them said some words, too, and by the time they finally decided to go back, I had begun to forget what it felt like to be warm.

The hike back up the slippery hill was a rough one, and Al nearly dropped me multiple times. I hoped I wasn't causing any trouble for him, especially since I knew he was in a shitty mood already. I felt relieved, though, finally walking away from that empty grave that was supposed to be mine and, undoubtedly, someday would be.

* * *

Al had gone up to his room at the first sight of alcohol, and I couldn't blame him. When adults got drunk enough, they started to think it would be fun if the kids were the same way.

Unfortunately, he forgot me.

Which is how I ended up stuck in this mess.

"Roy!" Havoc yelled, unknowing of his voice level because of his fogged senses. "You know what sounds like fun right now? Kissing someone! Dontcha think so, Colonel?"

"Mm hm!" he replied, grinning stupidly. "Hey Riza-"

"No." Her voice was firm, seeing as she hadn't had anything to drink; even away from work, her job was to keep everyone else in line.

"Well, what about Al's little kitty-cat?" Havoc suggested. "Don' think he'd object, would he? COULD he?"

I tensed. _No...They had BETTER not be thinking what I think they're thinking..._

"Guess not..." Roy said, leaning over to face me. I backed away instinctively, but he grabbed me with both hands and picked me up, looking straight into my eyes. I squirmed a bit; his breath smelled.

"Roy, seriously, I- oh my," said Riza, her eyes wide. Who could blame her? What a sight it must be, even from a different angle, a famous war hero leaning forward to kiss a cat.

Before I had time to react, his lips made contact with mine. My meow of panicked indignity was muffled by his mouth.

I did the first thing that came to mine; I reached out with one paw and clawed his neck. He dropped me, surprised by the sudden pain. I feel onto the coffee table and leaped up immediately.

_"YOU SICK BASTARD!!! I DON'T CARE HOW DRUNK YOU ARE, YOU'LL PAY FOR THIS!!! I'LL-"_

I felt a gentle pair of hands wrap around me as Riza picked me up. "Maybe I should take you back to Al..." she muttered.

_"I'M STILL GONNA KILL THAT BASTARD OF A COLONEL, YOU KNOW!"_ She didn't hear anything but a meow; a very ANGRY meow, but still just a meow.

When I could talk again, that stupid Colonel was going to get verbal abuse on a whole new level.

* * *

**cuz u just gotta luv royed, rite? lol- NO.**


	9. Chapter 9

**I still think I rushed it, getting to the part where Ed can write. But the story's not over yet...**

Chapter 9

I swiped my paw across the paper with practiced speed; I had been working all night, every night, for a week. Finally, after all this time, it was done; there had been many mess ups, ink spills, wrong wording, and the occasional wave of exhaustion that required me to go to sleep before starting again, whether I admitted I was tired or not.

And here it was; my entire confession. I am Edward Elric. I am. Edward is. I've always known that, and if they find out too, I can be back to normal. I can be at least a close to average size, I can talk to Al for real, I can say what I've wanted to say to Mustang; truthfully, I was looking forward to everyone's reaction most of all. The look on Mustang's face when he realizes that he KISSED me, how Winry will react when she discovers that she slept with me pressed up against her chest and, most of all, when Al realizes that he still has a family. A small family, but a family all the same.

The ink was dry. I rolled up the paper with awkward jerks of my paws and gripped the edge in my teeth, the only place I could think to store it while walking.

I limped into the living room looking left and right for Al. It occurred to me that I hadn't come out of that room in days, and surprisingly, Al hadn't come looking for me.

No one was in the living room. I turned back into the hall with a sigh, making my way towards the door of his room. It was slightly ajar, just enough for me to push open with a tiny creak and take a few steps inside.

The floor was littered with tissues. I saw a glass of water on his bedside table and a bucket on the floor next to him, smelling of something horrible that I hadn't smelled in ages. I realized with a wave of guilt that Al was sick, and I didn't even know it.

_I'm his big brother. Aren't I supposed to take care of him?_

Although, I suppose there was a way to justify my actions. I was going to tell him now. I COULD tell him now. He would feel better, then. Not physically, he would still be sick, but...I could heal a little part of him, the part inside him that missed me. I know that if our positions were reversed and HE was the one who dies, I would need this reassurance too.

He turned his head weakly towards me, his pale face looking even paler in the dim lighting.

"Oh..." he said hoarsely, "It's you..." He smiled slightly, as if asking me to come over. I didn't need an invitation.

I trotted over to him, my claws clicking on the floorboards.

He reached down and picked me up gently. I saw a slight flinch of pain in his face at the sudden movement, but I was too focused on my goal to do anything about it.

"You're more like a dog than a cat, you know," he said softly, stroking my back. "Loyal. That's the word, right?"

_Dog of the military,_ I thought to myself. _Not anymore, though._

He turned his attention to the paper. "What's this?" he asked curiously. I dropped the paper, eagerly awaiting his reaction when he read the contents.

"'Dear Alphonse,'" he read out loud, one eyebrow rising, a habit he had apparently inherited from me.

He mumbled the next few words so that they were barely distinguishable, and eventually fell into silence, reading to himself only. His face got more and more confused with every word. He, and the paper, were shaking violently. Before long, it had fallen out of his hands entirely. He obviously hadn't read the whole thing, but as long as he got the basic gist of it, it was enough.

"Th-that's impossible..." he muttered, his gaze settling on me, "isn't it?" he asked uncertainly, as if as an afterthought.

I shook my head and meowed, staring up at him with expectant eyes.

His hands covered his mouth in shock. He was still shaking; the shock hadn't yet worn off.

"Oh my god..."

He reached out towards me with shaking hands.

"Oh my god..."

He picked me up, holding me close to himself with gentle hands.

"Edward...Oh my god, Edward, big brother, I-I-" His words were cut short by a sob. He held me closer, tighter, as if he never wanted to let go. I hoped he never would.

"Edward, Edward, Edward..." He repeated my name over and over again, tears sliding freely down his cheeks.

_"Yes."_ I thought. _"I am Edward."_


	10. Chapter 10

Chapter 10

"Edward..."

I heard a voice call out to me, and for a moment I thought it was Al.

A dusty white porcelain doll stood in front of me, her face forever smiling, but her eyes filled with fire. Instinctively, I wanted to back away, but I couldn't; the only way for me to move was if she pulled one of the strings that controlled me.

"You have reached your goal FAR too soon!" she said menacingly. "What am I supposed to use for entertainment, hmm? I'll have to make this a bit more difficult, won't I?"

_"That's not fair!"_ I thought, knowing that she would hear it too. _"You can't change the challenge!"_

"Oh, I'm not changing the challenge, my darling Edward!" she said with an eerie, tinkling laugh. "I'm changing YOU!"

* * *

My eyes snapped open. I was shaking, although I didn't know why. _'Changing me'..._

I shivered; it was really cold, although when I went to sleep, I was in Al's arms, sharing his warmth. He was gone now.

My head was on the ground, in the dirt. I lifted it up and looked around, eyes widening as I did so.

I was in the middle of a forest, the one we had played in as children. _How the hell did I get HERE?_ I wondered, trying to stand up. There was a fallen tree on the ground near me and I realized, to my horror, that I was caught in its branches.

I tried desperately to get up, but it was no use.

_"DAMN IT! How could I, Edward Elric, get held back by a fucking TREE! ARGH!"_ I continued to rant, not caring that no one could hear me.

_"And also, I- huh?"_

I heard a rustling sound in the bushes; there was something in there, definitely. _"Hey!"_ I called. _"Who's there?"_

The bushes parted, and something jumped out in a fast, fluid movement, so that all I could see of the creature was fur.

I shouted out in pain as I felt its claws sink into my skin.

_"Edward of cats and humans, we meet again!"_

* * *

**I remember this chapter...This is the chapter where everyone reviewed asking who the 'mysterious attacker' was. My reviewers are all idiots...**


	11. Chapter 11

Chapter 11

"Hey, Alphonse," Roy said sitting in a chair next to the young boy's bed. "Winry and the others went into town to get ingredients for dinner, so I'm going to look after you, okay?"

Al's eyes opened and he looked around blearily. "Colonel...?"

Roy nodded.

"...Where's Ed?" Al asked, turning his head so that his eyes met Roy's'

"...You know where he is, Alphonse," Roy muttered with a sigh. Al had a strange expression on his face.

"No, I don't! He was right here when I went to sleep! Where is he?!" Al asked frantically, the fearful look growing.

Roy gave him a slightly pitiful look. "Al, get some rest. You're delusional."

"I'm not delusional!" Al shouted. "Ed came back to life! His soul's in that cat! He told me everything last night, you have to believe me! He's BACK!"

Roy sighed, a long, drawn out breath. "Al, I know his death hit you hard...But it's been a YEAR. You have to move on. You can't keep pretending that he's going to come back to you. You need to understand that he's gone, Al. Don't try to fool yourself. You'll just end up hurting yourself more."

"B-but..." Al replied, his voice hurt and disbelieving. "But...But he told me...He explained everything, he...Oh! The note! I still have the note! He gave me a note, Roy, he explained everything on it! Where is it, where is it-"

Roy watched helplessly as Al searched around under the sheets and next to the pile of books on his bedside table. _I know he's sick..._ Roy thought. _But this can't be healthy...He needs to move on-_

"NO!" Roy's head snapped up at the horrified tone of Al's voice. In his pale, trembling hands he held not a note, but a simple piece of paper smudged with black ink. "It got blotted out! No! Ed wrote this, it was special! Where is he?! I need him to write a new one, to prove that he's-"

"Al." Roy put a strong hand on the boy's shoulder. "Give it up. Your brother is dead, and that's all there is to it. He was happy with his life..." Roy instantly regretted those words. They could have worked when speaking of anyone else, but Ed?

"'Happy'?" Al said, his voice shaking. "What are you TALKING about?! He had nothing, no one, no one but me! How could you say he was HAPPY?! You killed him! You sent him on that mission and he died and it's all your fault! And now you think I'm crazy because he came back! His old life was bad enough; let him have a new one! I love him and you- YOU DON'T EVEN CARE ABOUT HIM! He's my big brother, but to you, he's just 'Fullmetal'!"

Al's words were like a slap to the face. He had never seen Al get angry before, and frankly, he never wanted to see it again. Ed had creative insults, that's for sure, but Al knew how to twist the words around, manipulate them so that they hit their target in their weak spot, preying of their own insecurities.

"Alphonse, get some rest."

"But-"

"No. Now." Al's face darkened. He turned over and pulled the blankets on top of him, a silent signal to Roy along the lines of 'go the hell away.'

Roy sighed and, with one last glance in Al's direction, headed out the bedroom door.

* * *

**Days Later**

* * *

"Alphonse, come sit down. We need to speak with you."

Al took a seat, glaring silently at everyone that surrounded him; Winry, Roy, Havoc, Riza, Breda, Fuery, Falman...They were all there. "What do you want?" he asked coldly.

"Al, the fact that you still insist that your brother is alive is...Well, it's not good. We could understand it when you were sick; it's common knowledge that high fevers can give people weird thoughts and stuff like that, but you've been better for three days now. You don't have an excuse anymore. You need to move on."

Al clenched his fists. "Why don't you get it?! I'm NOT delusional! I saw him! He's the cat; he got reincarnated as a cat, that cat you gave me! But now he's gone and I don't know where he is and you won't even help me find him! You haven't even noticed that he's missing!"

"Alphonse..." Winry put a hand on his shoulder. "Edward is dead. You need to move on. It's hard for us too, but he's GONE. Your life can still have meaning without him. Stop trying to fool yourself. You'll just end up getting more hurt."

The others nodded, agreeing with her.

"But..." Al said, his voice shaking. "But...But he's EDWARD! He's not dead, he CAN'T be dead! He's my brother and he wouldn't leave me! He WOULDN'T!"

Winry bit her lip and glanced around the room, silently asking for assistance. Havoc spoke.

"Al, tell us what exactly happened."

Al nodded purposefully. "This is what happened..."

* * *

When Al had gone back to bed (he went to sleep early and got up early as well, unlike the others in the house) and only Winry and the military members inhabited the living room, they were free to discuss the options.

"We need to make him understand that Edward is gone. He needs to move on," said Roy. "That will be our goal."

"We've already tried that," Winry pointed out. "This weird dream, or whatever it was, is making Al determined that Ed's still alive. There's probably some way to make him snap out of it, but I don't know what it is..."

Riza sighed. "I didn't think it would have to come to this...I really don't trust 'professionals', but in this situation, we really have no idea what we're doing, do we?"

It took a moment for her words to register in everyone's minds.

"So that's it, then?" Falman said, as he was the first one to realize their meaning. "Therapy?"

Havoc sighed. "Poor kid...He's only fifteen and he's already lost his entire family. It's no surprise that this has happened..."

"I just hope it all turns out okay.


	12. Chapter 12

Chapter 12

_"Edward of humans and cats! You sure have changed, hmm? If it wasn't for your voice, I wouldn't have been able to tell that it was you! You look a lot different, or maybe you don't like anything at all? I can't really tell, but from I can see you're just a bunch of fog or something. It's a bit strange, hmm? Any luck your brother? Oh, don't answer that; if you're out here all alone, then I guess-"_

Ed's beating heart finally calmed itself, though his breathing was still uneven from fear. _"Orpheus!"_ he exclaimed, a relieved, if slightly lopsided smile growing on his face. _"Dammit, you fucking SCARED me! Why'd you have to jump out from the bushes like that, you nearly gave me a heart attack! Now help me get up, I need to get back to Al!"_ He gave a weak attempt to get the fallen tree off of him, pushing with all his strength, which wasn't much.

_"So, what are you now exactly, hmm?"_ Orpheus asked, his tail flicking back and forth lazily as he watched the slight movement with patient interest. _"I can't really see you and- Oh, you're a ghost, aren't you, hmm? Yeah, it all makes sense! You really just look like a bunch of fog, it's weird that you can't just walk through stuff and-"_

"_WHAT?!"_ Ed yelled frantically, turning his head as much as he could, looking down at himself with horror. He could see right through himself, despite the fact that he was in a human form for the most part. _"So that's what she meant..."_ he muttered shifting slightly under the heavy wood formed a sort of prison over him. _"Orpheus, can't ghosts walk through stuff? I mean, I'm transparent and everything..."_ He completely ignored the fact that a little while ago, he wouldn't have believed in ghosts at all. First reincarnation, now this? If only life could be as simple and predictable as it was supposed be.

_"Maybe you could if you thought about it, hmm? Like really thought about it."_ He walked over to the fallen tree with silent footsteps and stared into the small patch of mist that he knew to be Edward. _"Ghosts are pretty weird, hmm?"_ He swiped his paw through the mist and watched it spread out to avoid his claws.

Ed yelped at the sudden pain. "_Don't do that!"_ he said, wincing. The mist formed back together into the vague shape of a person again and the pain subsided to a dull ache.

_"Sorry,"_ said Orpheus indifferently. Ed glared at him, despite the fact that he knew Orpheus couldn't see it. He struggled against the branches again. _"Hey, hey! Did you even hear what I said? Try to move through it! I bet you could, I mean, you ARE a ghost, hmm?"_

_"Alright, alright! Just shut up already!"_ Ed yelled angrily, although Orpheus showed no reaction. He closed his eyes and took a deep breath, as he assumed it necessary to have proper concentration to try something like this. Focusing only on the task at hand, he waited for the relief of no longer being under his stupid wooden 'prison' to arrive. It didn't happen.

_"Relax,"_ Orpheus suggested, watching with an amused expression on his face. Reluctantly, Ed to his surprise, the branches fell away and he found himself near Orpheus; he had rolled right through the barrier in his not-quite-solid state.

_"There you go,"_Orpheus stated simply. _"Aren't you glad you listened to me?"_

_"Yeah, yeah..."_ Ed muttered standing up shakily. _"Do you know where we are? That Fate person dropped me off in the middle of the woods, and I really need to be getting back to Al..."_

_"I dunno what you're talking about, but I believe I can tell you where we are."_ He squinted into the darkness that was only penetrated by a few weakly shining stars, attempting to find a point of reference so as to find his way back to wherever he had been before hearing Ed's angry yells. _"So, where do you want to go?"_

_"Winry Rockbell's house. FAST."_

* * *

"Alphonse," Winry immediately squeezed her eyes shut, unable to face Al's expression, even after hours of practicing what she would say to him while looking in the bathroom mirror that morning, "We've been talking to Dr. Howard, and we all think that it would be best for you to go...Somewhere else. Somewhere where you can get the kind of help that you need."

"Okay." Winry's eyebrows shot up her forehead.

"H-huh? You mean...You're okay with it?" she asked, disbelief evident in her voice.

Al nodded. His eyes were blank, and they refused to look at her face. "I don't want to be here anymore, if everyone's going to treat me like they do. No one believes me. You all act like...Like..." His voice broke and he rubbed his eyes on his wrist. Winry shut her eyes, giving herself a moment to collect her thoughts.

"I'm sorry, Al. I really am. But you really need to move on. You're going to come back when you stop-"

"I'm not coming back," Al said bluntly. "Not unless you admit that Ed is alive."

Winry's breath caught in her throat. "So that's it, then?" she said, smiling sadly. "I'll never see either of you again?"

"You could see us both," Al said. "You really could. But I guess you just don't want to." With that, he turned on his heel and strode quickly out of the room, leaving Winry with nothing but her own thoughts, which were, in her opinion, more than enough company.


	13. Chapter 13

Chapter 13

They treated him exactly the same as they always had; kindly and with respect. Perhaps even more so than before. They owed it to him, for not believing him, for sending him away. But they couldn't deny the fact that they thought it was the right thing to do- that they KNEW it was the right thing to do. It was what he needed. He had to move on, even if they couldn't be there to help him.

They didn't know exactly where he would be going, so they allowed him to bring whatever he wished. It had to be as comfortable as possible for him. Only the best for him, only the best. Nothing less.

And so, even though they all privately agreed that it wasn't a good idea, they let him bring Ed's coat with him.

The tattered piece of crimson fabric that Al had hugged for the first few months after The Death like a baby hugged a blanket for the first few months after The Birth.

The entire day was spent saying good bye. He was getting ready to head out the door at eight that night. Winry was close to tears, and even the others, who were oh-so-good at hiding their emotions, were having a hard time keeping their grief from showing.

Al looked determined. Determined about what, they could only guess. Proving them wrong?

It was possible.

There was a knock on the door. Winry stiffened and squeezed her eyes shut, expecting the doctor to answer it, ready to whisk Al away to the mental home he had recommended.

With a loud creak, Roy pulled open the door to reveal...

...Absolutely no one.


	14. Chapter 14

**Okay…This is going to be over soon. To tell the truth, I think my writing skill has been diminishing slightly…Oh well.**

**Thank you to everyone that has read and reviewed so far! You will be rewarded in heaven! (I'm atheist, in case you were wondering…)**

Chapter 14

Roy shivered. "Damn, that's creepy...No one's there."

The door creaked and opened further, causing Roy to unwillingly take a step back. There was the tapping of feet, slowly coming closer, one after another.

Everyone in the room stepped closer together, giving each other uneasy looks. Everyone except Al; he stayed rooted to the spot, a look of excited anticipation on his face.

Two bright dots appeared in the doorway, nearly at ground level. Winry shrieked, and the others didn't look very well off either.

In stepped a thin gray and black striped cat.

Everyone let out a sigh of relief, except, again, for Al, who had never looked so disappointed in his life.

The cat meowed and Fuery laughed. "It's kind of embarrassing when you think about it. We were all scared of a cat."

**Ed's POV**

_"Orpheus, there's some paper and a pen on the coffee table. Go get it, I'll tell you what to write!"_

_"Are you insane? I don't know how to write."_

I swore.

_"If you can make yourself solid again, maybe you'll be able to talk to them."_

I sighed. It was worth a try, though.

I relaxed and slowly began the transformation, exerting the same amount of effort as before.

**Al's POV**

Next to the cat (it was a very cute cat- I almost wanted to pet it, but I was still too upset to be cheered up even by that.) was a strange patch of air. It really didn't look like air- it was foggy and wavering, refracting like water.

Slowly, very slowly, it began to gain form. To become solid.

I'm almost positive that it's a ghost.

Yes, it is. It IS a ghost! "B-big brother!" I exclaimed. His face lit up.

_"Al! You can see me?"_ I nodded. _"Thank god! Al, listen, I need you to tell them that I'm here, okay? You need to let them know, it's important, I need them to know that I'm still here if I ever want to really be back."_

"I tried!" I said, my voice wavering. "I tried really hard, but they don't...D-don't believe me..." My voice broke and tears started to fall. I wiped my eyes on my wrist and swallowed hard, trying to get rid of the lump in my throat.

I felt two strong arms around my shoulder, holding me tight.

_"It's okay,"_ Ed said, his voice gentle and soothing. He rarely used this voice. I hadn't heard his voice at all in over a year. To hear it again, to hear him comforting me? It was a dream come true. I swear, I've never in my life been happier in my entire life.

I have also never been this upset in my entire life.

"You're a ghost..." I whispered. He said nothing. I swallowed hard. "First you were a cat and now you're a ghost...Why can't you just be _you_ again? I m-miss you...And they're gonna make me go to an insane asylum..."

_"WHAT?!"_ Ed pulled away from me, a look of pure anger of his not-quite-solid face. He whirled around to face the others in the room, who were staring at me with looks of concern on their faces.

_"YOU BASTARDS! YOU ALWAYS SAID THAT IF ANYTHING HAPPENED TO ME, YOU'D TAKE CARE OF AL! YOU CAN'T JUST GO BACK ON YOUR PROMISE LIKE THAT!"_

"Al," Hawkeye began, walking right through Ed on her way towards me. He looked disgusted at her ignorance. I couldn't blame him.

She pulled me into her arms and hugged me, almost in the way Ed had, only different. She wasn't Him.

"Al," she said again. "I know you don't want this, but it's what's best for you. We're not telling you to forget him. But you need to move on, just a bit, and start focusing on other things. You need-"

I shoved her away. "Why can't you see him?!" I asked, my voice shaking. "He's right there! Right in front of you! Why can't- Why am I the only one who..." I trailed off, giving Ed a pleading look. He bit his lip, looking concerned.

His ghostly pale, transparent face seemed to light up with sudden realization. He grinned, that smile that had always been a warning to me; _'I'm about to do something stupid, but I'm absolutely sure it's going to work, so just make sure not to get hurt because of me, okay?'_

_"Hey, Orpheus!"_ he said to the cat (the very extremely amazingly cute cat) who turned his attention to Ed immediately at the sound of his voice.

_"What is it, Edward of human and cats?"_

"Al, relax. It's almost time for you to go-"

"Shh! Wait! I need to watch-"

"This isn't the time for-"

_"Orpheus, I need to use you-"_

"SHUT UP, I'M TRYING TO FIGURE OUT WHAT HE'S-"

I stopped.

In the confusion of everyone talking at once, Ed had disappeared.

Completely.

"Oh my god...Ed...He's...Ed's g-gone..." My shoulders slumped as I stared at the place where Ed had been, only moments ago. The occupants of the room crowded around me, concerned, yet relieved, looks on their faces.

"That's what we've been trying to tell you," Winry said sadly, placing a hand on my shoulder. "But you wouldn't-"

I brushed her hand away, my anger renewed. "That's not what I meant," I growled, my voice low and threatening. "I'm sick of this! You won't listen to me! You refuse to believe that he-"

There was a loud, long, sudden hiss from near the doorway. We all turned quickly to see the black and gray striped cat, writhing on the floor like a furry, twitching mess.

I ran over, filled with panic as I stumbled through the small crowd of people gathered in front of me. This cat had spoken to Ed- he had something to do with him.

I reached out to touch him, but he squirmed away. His back was arched and his eyes wide open, filled with a deranged look. I realized that I was shaking. Who wouldn't? This wasn't natural behavior for a cat, not under any circumstances.

"S-somebody do something!" I said, but everyone was frozen in place. They had all dealt with distressing situations before, but this was far too, well, random. A cat was having a seizure. No one knew what to do.

* * *

**Thank you again to all readers and reviewers and favoriters and alerters and…**

**Just review, okay?**


	15. Chapter 15

...**Wow. It's been a month since I updated…**

**By the way, I lied. This **_**isn't**_** the last chapter. There's going to be two or three more until you are free from reading this shit.**

Chapter 15

_"Edward, this is NOT going to WORK!"_ Orpheus said, his voice strained and forced.

_"Yes, it is! Look, just relax, okay? I need to take control of your body, to talk to everyone...Please, Orpheus, I need to be human again," _Ed pleaded. His desperation was strange, amazingly so.

Orpheus relented and, somewhat reluctantly, gave over control of his body. Ed's soul settled into place, spreading throughout his limbs with a warm, tickling sensation. He stretched out his paws, feeling dizzy at the sudden return of his physical being- or, rather, the physical being of someone else.

_"Orpheus?"_ There was no answer. He shivered slightly, assuring himself that Orpheus was fine. He had other things to worry about.

He shifted, looking up from the wooden floor of the Rockbell house. His neck ached with the movement and he meowed quietly, frustrated with the fact that he was still a cat.

"It's...Okay?" Fuery said uncertainly.

Winry nodded hesitantly, staring at the 'cat' with awe. "It's...It's okay." She leaned over, her eyes still wide, and picked Ed up, cradling him in her arms subconsciously.

Ed squirmed, trying to push away. _"This is not the time!"_ he growled silently, giving her as strong of a glare as he could. _"Let. Me. Down."_ The commanding tone of his voice was lost in the nothingness that stretched between him and the occupants of the room.

'Cats always land on their feet.'

If you were to ask him, it was the stupidest saying ever. But who's to say it wasn't true? Now was as good of a time as any to test it out.

Ed scratched Winry's arm. Not hard enough to draw blood- just enough to make her shriek and loosen her hold. He leaped out of her arms, landing gracefully with all four feet pressed firmly to the ground.

He turned his head to the cluster of shocked humans and smiled in an odd, cat-like way. He trotted over to Al and sat at his feet, staring out at the rest of them with a look of challenge in his eyes.

The silence was broken by none other than Alphonse Elric.

"Ed?" Al asked shakily, peering down at the cat. "Is...Is that you?"

Ed turned his head sharply at the sound of his brother's voice. Before he could do anything, however, there was a loud knock on the door.

"This is Dr. Howard, here to escort Alphonse to Central asylum."

And all hell broke loose.

* * *

**I write really short chapters, don't I?**

**Anyways, if you're still reading this, please review. Even if it's just to say 'Hi, yeah, I'm still reading', I want to know. I've kind of given up hope for this story, seeing as I've written much better stuff.**


	16. The End

**"I had a feeling you'd say something like that to the review; I admit it is pretty bad when it comes to coincidences and the general idea itself. But I need closure. At least go and kill everyone in the next chapter to express how much you hate the story. Please? I hate unfinished stories. So kill them! KILL THEM ALL!! PUT KITTY-ED IN A BLENDER! DOOOOO IIIIT!"**

**-- x-Malicious-Me-x**

Chapter 16

-Behind the Scenes-

"Please," Al pleaded. "Please, Mird. Stop filling the room with OOC gas... It... It stings... Oh god, I can feel my skin... Peeling... Just end the story and relieve us of our pain!"

"And let me take off this cat costume," Ed practically begged. "It smells so bad; it's all I can do not to vomit."

"Just end it," Winry whimpered from the corner. "I hardly have a part in this fic, and it's still terrible... How could you make us do such things?!"

Mird shrugged. "Eh. I'm a fanfic author. Find any other newbie on this site, feed them this "plot bunny," and they'll come up with the exact same thing, I guarantee it." She paused. "Except they won't be Mird, so it'll be significantly less amazing. And this is hardly amazing."

"We're suffering!" Al shrieked. "Do you not understand that, you cold, heartless woman?!"

"I understand," said Mird. "Truly, I do. My heart bleeds for you, my darling Alphonse. I have manipulated you. I was unfair. But now, it's your time to shine!"

"You mean, we get to be in character?" Ed said, his golden eyes gleaming with hope.

"Nah," said Mird. "I'm gonna turn Cat of the Military into a crackfic!"

* * *

_"This is Dr. Howard, here to escort Alphonse to Central asylum."_

_And all hell broke loose._

* * *

Suddenly, somewhere in Resembool, a plot hole opened up.

While all this "Cat" drama was going on, an evul alchemist was invading Resembool and spreading toxic insanity gas everywhere. Ed was too busy whining about his kitty-ness, Al was too busy being insane, and Winry was too busy doing whatever OOC things that Winry does for Mird to draw any attention to the impending doom-- they were taking up too much screen-time.

"Too much screen-time?" you say. "Mird, you rarely post a chapter that even comes close to a thousand words. What do YOU know about screen-time?"

Lol. Completely nothing.

But, hey, at least I told you about the impending doom. (1)

Anyways. The toxic insanity gas caused, like, insanity and stuff. Mr. Howard, the doctor OC, was unaffected by the gas, as he was just a personality-lacking cardboard cut-out with no background, past, or life, as are most Doctor-OCs.

However, the canon characters were affected. Greatly. They went from OOC to just downright insane.

Al's eyes glazed over. He got that look that people get when they're in math class and it's almost time to leave but they're still supposed be paying attention.

"Al...?" Winry said, confused. "Um, what are you doing? You look kind of like you were possessed by an evil math-class-demon. Are you okay?"

"Yeah," said Al. "I'm fine. But I've just been spoken to by the souls of the undead. This kitten... Is Edward Elric."

Everyone gasped and instantly believed him.

Al picked up kitty!Ed and carried him over to the blender, because people keep their blenders in their living room, just incase they need a nice cup of kitten-juice in the middle of doing whatever people do in living rooms.

Al pressed the on switch. There was a sickening "," and then Edward Elric was no more.

Suddenly, all hell broke loose.

"NOOOO!" screamed Winry. "WE'VE LOST THE MAIN CHARACTER! WHAT WILL DO WITHOUT THE STABLE GLUE OF AN ANGSTY PROTAGONIST TO HOLD US TOGETHER?! SURELY WE WILL FAIL!"

"Poor Alphonse," Riza said sadly, because she is a Strong Female Character, and Strong Female Characters, in fanfiction, always either have no emotions, or have too many, and cleverly hide them. "Forced to kitty-blender-ify his only family at the young age of twelve. (Flow ruining author's note: As any of you who read Epic will surely know, Brilliant Author has some timeline issues.) My heart bleeds for his poor soul."

At this exact moment, the promised day was taking place, except all the human sacrifices were Mary Sues because the original candidates were all at Winry's house, crying over spilled milk, except it wasn't milk, it was Ed's soul in the form of a cat in the form of a smoothie.

Everyone took a long nap. The end.

* * *

**(1) At my last count, there were ten Suefics in the FMA archive. I'd call that impending doom.**

**I feel like I made too many references to my other fics. Did I? Hmm. It's hard to tell.**

**Oh well. It's finally over. Hate me or whatever. Frankly, I don't give a poop. :)**


End file.
